The betrayal from the closest kins are integrating tormenting one.
I hate this, i hate that.
I could collaspe anytime sooner....

officially sick and tired

I admit,i care about how people think of me.
Somehow, i feel that everyone has a judgement day.
Why, out of suddenly, i feel that everyone outshine me in someway, in an unique way.
All of sudden, all the pressure are hanging by the moment, leaving me acting solemnly.
I feel that i'm not stronger anymore, im falling, falling into a deeper depth, leaving me alone.
I thought we have the stimulate chemistry, but why do you, everyone leave a sudden goodbye note.
Am i not good enough? i probe this question all over and over again.
Why everyone have to do all these to me, what exactly have i done wrong? this is so injustice..
Apparently, now i'm officially sick of how people look at me, think of me, gossip about me.
Because if you think you can't capture well the limelight, i steal it and so be it.

keane-somewhere only we know

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?I'm getting old and I need something to rely onSo tell me when, you're gonna let me inI'm getting tired and I need somewhere to beginAnd if you have a minute why don't we goTalk about it somewhere only we know?This could be the end of everythingSo why don't we go, somewhere only we knowSomewhere only we know?

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?I'm getting old and I need something to rely onSo, tell me when you gonna let me inI'm getting tired and I need somewhere to beginAnd if you have a minute why don't we goTalk about it somewhere only we know?This could be the end of everything.So why don't we go, so why don't we go?Hmmm yeahh.This could be the end of everythingSo why don't we go, somewhere only we know,Somewhere only we knowSomewhere only we know?

Earlier in the evening, i went for a jog, and i realised i have to reform back my old stamina. I just have the sudden urge to jog, to forget the most excruciating trouble and the incessant problems i have received.
I felt so energetic after a run, and it seem that it is a release, release, release, for a short moment.

Looking back at the old good times we spent, no matter during at work, play and everything, they are the one for you. Feeling all your misery, sorrows, desperation, craves and desires.

Sex-citing, sexcition, it's the sex to have friends like them, during your younger days.

Those are the periods we were young and naive, stubborn, being quarrelsome with each others, conflicts, countless of madness, jealousy, getting drunk together, stay over at each other 's cribs, getting naked and staring at each other, smoke harsh and create havoc.

This reminds me a flashback of myself, behaving childishly, a wild-child who used to break rules, fights, a heart broken by people and i broke people heart.

When is the first time you saw the real me? I think opposite does attracts, it's the crave for some sex-citing and wild intentions.

Why do we care about how people think, it is like a fashion faux-pax, thin models walking on the steps, dress the way they are.
People look and think the way you behave, like how you're published in page-six.
If you're famous, you succeed
If you don't, try dugging a hole and hide yourself.
That's pretty much we call it famous or infamous.

"So we should take our clothes off, stare at each other, get some affection."

Revenge, revenge, revenge
I'm on the verge of major plans as it fall in, one last game to see who is the winner of it all?
One last game to prove that i am better than anyone else, who say queen can't conquer it all, i do.
Now that the battle is on, until it is over, you will have a clean slate.
That's the thing, you have to be cool to be a queen. Forget boys, keep your eye on the prize, people. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, it's all worthy.
Bearable or unbearable? You can tell jesus the bitch is back.

Exhausted, worn-out and tear apart.
Alcohol seem to my best company, tv console seem to be my best shoulder to cry on.
I'm so tired, heading to bed.
Tomorrow's another day, remember?

The circumstances are most extenuating. Can we forgive it this one time?

I had a slightly minor pimple breakout, and i realised it's a pain in the ass whenever all my friends grumbled over it. Thus, i tried finding for a concealer before heading for school, but i couldn't managed to find.
My heart is sinking deep, deeper and i don't know why. I can be a player but i don't wish myself to be played, you see the whole objectives and points. Do you get it? Realisation in a discrimination, we are so much better off as friends, than lover.

I love everyone, and i can't bring myself to hate anyone, for those who once betrayed me or in their spiral acts, i still forgive and forget. Always befriend with an enemy and everyone is built up with walls and you have to be distinctive about it, also, read them as a book.

Anyway, maybe partying this week and i am enjoying every nightlife ever. Never mess around with me, you will never get to.

I'm so a party-goer and do you?

night sweethearts, xoxo

I treated all this as a game, and i don't expect myself to sink deep, deeper. Sorry, i don't wish to hurt your fragile and brittle heart, but i can't bear to. You are so gentle and sweet, i guess i have no right to exile you from loving other people. Maybe u think i may stole your heart, you stole mine. I guess you never really understand how i feel. I have been there, done that and i don't care how my physical and mental attractions are on you. So what it was, so what with ez?

I'm more like day-dreaming than talking. Yesterday had a crash-over at c's crib. It was fantastic because we were having a heart-to-heart talk and card game although it was boring. Afterwhich, we headed down to bugis to have steamboat with another bitch, which i must say it was good. I don't know my stomach has been fluttering, like butterflies, perhaps. It was humilating to say, i admit. Must say, i do have problem with guys and i don't know why. Consider myself a devil, i love games.

Anyway, i have to hoax myself to sleep because i have work tomorrow, night earthlings!

This past years, i see myself growing up, falling down. This is the moment i call it to be. I had experienced alot of happiness, trauma and sadness throughout my whole entire journey. Sometimes, it hurt me a little but i still manage to get through all these mess up shits.
I'd graduated from high school, going to a new environment, meeting new friends, enjoying every moment i have. I don't call it the last moment but the best experience i have. Frankly speaking, i do struggle and entangle myself in this complex environment, but i call this part of my learning journey. Also, thank to my family and aunt who were there for me when i needed them most. In fact, i would personally thank my aunt (doesn't admit she is old). She taught me how to do business and share alot of her life experience in order not to follow her old footsteps. I also learn how to make decision to deal with certain circumstances in such situation. ( I'm like memorising scripts for grammy awards)

so glad

For the last moment, i had enough. I am so done with everything here. Therefore, i am going to care less about the misery, torments, guilt, sadness and unhappiness. Perhaps, in my last straw, i have done enough in lending people a hand whenever they have problem or issues. Not wishing people would be appreciative but the least you could do is a " thank" is more than enough. Whenever i have problem, i don't think people would eventually lend a hand or a listen ear. Ultimately, it seem that all my worries and problems are bury inside head. Apparently, i appear to be not much of any problems because partly you all, may think that i am a strong-willed person. Yes, i am with firm thinking but somehow, you people may not understand even the strong and tough person will fall when meet into a setback. Imaginely, no one is there for you and you have to resolve it all by yourself. I tried it because im experimenting all these in the past, no one is really there for you when you desperately need a lending hand. They either escape or avoid you. So i learn to be strong and wiser, and deal with different kind of circumstances. I won't allow anyone to have a chance to see me for, see my weakling side. Thank to you i must say, this past two years i learn how to be headstrong in every decision i make. Although i do not hate you anymore, but there is still a little hatred inside me for the way we treated each other. I've seen through people in my entire life, that is why i never believe anyone, not even my closest friends, i chose to believe in myself, believe in what i see and hear. Call me stubborn for whatever you want to describe, i am willing to bear all those criticism. Seriously, i don't give a fuck about how people think of me, my personality or anything because i behave just the way i am. You do not have any right to teach me any moral lesson. Ever once a friend told me " stand strong, you never fall." Until now, this quote becoming part of my essential life and i am reminding myself everyday, even today. This motivates me not to fall and successfully, i am what i am today. I am glad.

I believe in you,everyone does, except you. I trusted you for handling your personal issues, but you seem to me that you can't resolved it and instead, you are dragging your feets upon this matter. Why beat about the bush when you already decided what you want, i have no idea. One thing i know is i know you more that i know the actual facts.
You're leading to more even worst scenarios do you know that, in the first place. More or less to say, you are a coward who can't handled matter in a mature way.
I feel bad for you, for everyone, for the person you have hurt the most deeply. For once, i thought you were nice, until then....

Hi, pardon me for the little posts. Had a small celebration for D, and it turned out awesomely good. Maybe we had an overdose of drinks, so we are kind of high. The least i could do is to stay sober to take care the bunches of dead drunker. I'd presume everyone was absolutely "HIGH".
Will post up the photos soon i promise. Maybe i am just sick of night lifestyle, very much hate the crowds and the music or truth to be told, i am half affected by the recent issues. Pathetically speaking, i saw him and we exchanged a few words and gestures. Do you know i am so upset about it still, until now. Throughout these period, i am trying my best to hide my angers because i do not want to create a scene.
I won't let you see me for or either you, to destroy my night because it does not worth a splatter of dirt with such jerk like you.
Done, goodnight everyone!

Two culprits in disguise, can we find a good-hearted souls?
Very much to say, it's hard to complements one person.
Damn hard that you may collapsed anytime, anywhere.

Am proud of her rockability chic style, you own it mischa

Random shots with a colleague, too "BL"

The headband "girl"

Random shots because "BL". I wonder celebrities can bring out styles well, why couldn't we?

They achieved great styles with awesome hairstyles, great scent of aura beauty, lanky figures. They pull off so well and play hard with fashion. My fashion-inspired "IT girl" is agyness deyn. My short-length hair was also inspired by her. It bring out the edgy and also feminine look i call it be.

Enough about it, i guess i will never be like them with my petite sizes, short and burgy, fat thighs. I just wish i would have liposuction for goodness sakes so that i could get shorty shorts, showing off my lanky and slimmer thighs, also dump the jeans and lastly, mini skirts with heels. Fat hope!
I would wanna shed some pounds to size 1, grow taller, a regimes of good skins.

I will call it a day, because tomorrow i have to wake up for work and it is the holiday! *Yawns*

"When people stop questioning about your past, it doesn't mean they do not care for you, because they bring you freedom away from sorrows."

I've survived

I've survived today, from the recent ruins and issues from the people. Geez, what's on earth with people? I really don't understand. The one stay kin to you, sheepishly being so sheep and cunning about those trivial matters. Do you have problems with that? Sorry, i would not let anyone destroy me, neither do you. Or rather, i have to trust my own judgement rather than letting things go chaos. Bear that in mind. not many people could bring me down, neither do you.

Or rather i have to wait, maybe in the future, i see the truth. I am not the one having issues, you do.

Anyway, tomorrow is my bffs birthday. Will be holding a party for her, will be a great one i guess. There is a guest which i least expected. Apparently, i just wish you are out of my life, gone for good.

TASTE FOR THE BITTER! LIKE I CARE, BECAUSE YOU ARE SO GROUNDED!