Seriously speaking,i miss my social lifestyle,what i'm living now is pretty mundane ever since school ended. It seem like i'm drifted apart from everyone including my friends and almost everyone. I pretend to be someone who smile and laugh but the fact is,i'm not happy with myself. Perhaps,i can never satisfy myself,lest talking about satisfying other people's needs.

I am a wasted youth.

Losing grips

Guilt tripping and countless words untold. This world is shallow,you can never entrust yourself to anyone,not anyone but yourself. Whatever things you do,you trust your feelings and not to anybody else. I realise i am such a motherfucking failure and a wasted youth. I spent all my entire life realising what a motherfuckable person am i. I can look very positive and sound optimistic all the time you people always see. But the fact is,i'm not. I have a very pessimistic ego and i don't look at things on a brighter sides. Maybe due to all the drama-rama going on throughout my growing years.

Also,it seem like i don't set myself a very good example,to everyone and the young kids. Needless to say, i am truely a bad ass.

How many times have i been hurt,like something stab through my heart and take everything away from me? All the betrayals,setbacks i have been through and all those major shits. No one know me better than i know myself more. That's why i never trust anyone,even my closest ones. Call me a cold species and i don't give a huge fag about it.

I love to think i am a person you could spend your laughter and a shoulder to cry on. But in such circumstances, somehow,it's unpredictable.

In a losing grips...

FML

I just got back from the fucking work place and i fucking fucking hate it. Today doesn't seem to my day i call it pride. Fml..fml..fml indeed.

I was pathetically tired and only had one meal because i can't seem to crave for anything today.

I felt so motherfucking pissed which i do not wish to post it here because i am not someone who like to share my inner deep thoughts. Precisely, this issue got to be murder asap.

Didn't you guys realised chinese new year and valentine day actually crash on the same day,which means they got to celebrate both important festive season plus from their love ones as well while i am gonna be alone this year. Fortunately, i got to spend with my family and love ones.

I feel that i maybe leaving anytime soon, and i am not hoping for anything. Thanks for being there with me all these while and i appreciated it alot with your mentor and guidances. But, i have to move on for a better path carve out for me.

Men usually take sex as a sports,visualise a woman like a sexpot and take them for granted. They do not value woman chasity and almost regard them as a booty call.

When a dishonourable man treat you as a rebound or want nothing more than you,but just a booty call. You have to learn how to jeopardise this hazard in order to let yourself getting less hurt. A guy would never hurt you if they would treat you properly,with respect and most importantly, a value in their life.

When a guy say they need time to reconsider about their feelings with you. Forget about it, they are just making a plain excuse in avoiding this issue and also, preying for better targets out there, and you are unlikely to be one of them. When they call you out of the blue, without any notice, they just want a sleepovers with you,cuddles,sex with you and nothing more than that. So, please do not assume they are actually interested in you whereby they are just treating you as their passing time moments.

Nothing worth more than knowledge,because knowledge is power. A guy would actually be an honourable man if they actually see you as a human-being,treat you nicely,fancy you and shower you with more care,concern and love instead of treating you as a sex pot.

Basically, we are not kleenex in which we are use once and throw away. This theory is long existence in our logic because guys treated everything like their favourite sports game whereby they do not see the consequences it cause hurt, and more hurt.

What a motherfucking night?! i'm still here with more rants and i just couldn't stop ranting during my free time. Shouldn't i be obsessing with those notes than blogging but i couldn't,i have too much to say,too much thoughts to share,more worrying issues to handle,etc.

Shouldn't i be quitting partying? I feel as if my era is over,and the younger generation begins. I felt as if my health is deterioting or on rather, i haven't been enjoying the partying as much as it happened in the past. I should have concentrate on doing something more fufilling and lead a healthier state of mind.

I have to start sending my resumes after i graduate but i am contemplating to take degree or continue to work? This is definitely a worst-part being an adult whereby decisions has to be make. There is an old saying," do what you deem right'' I guess i will just go with the flow seriously.

I don't want to make myself full of criticism but somehow,i couldn't stand china bitches. They seem really stuck up and has an abhorrent attitudes which i know most of our sg people couldn't stand.

rants,rants,rants,all i need is more rant

I've been thinking,thinking and thinking with the confessing mind in me. Life is never as easy as it is done unless you experience it yourself. It is a rollar-coaster rides for me,ups and down. Basically,no one knows how i feel,what am i thinking or supposing to do because i am someone who do not express myself much or truth to be told,i am a person who immense in deep thoughts and hide my emotional well.

I am always wearing a mask and i won't allow myself to bare my heart to others, or else,i feel as if i am so naked.
Also,i am a very vague and straightforward person whereby i do not give a fuck damn for who you are and i apologise for that because i can't change the fact for how i behave,the way i acted,the person i am.

Somehow,i realised not many of you people could accept the way like i accept for who you are. Still, i know i am a very fuck-up-to-the-core person. I tried in many ways to change but still, i couldn't do so.
I'm not trying to broadcast what kind of person i am but hopefully, you all could understand what kind of person i'm really am. I know i may have offended loads of people out there,for the people they care for me the most and i really appreciated it.

Too much rants tonight.

Last night,although wasn't a blast but we managed to get ourselves a period of soberness. Out partying with my bunches of homies as one of them were holding a celebration at powerhouse and we ordered two bottles of liquors and the rest were ladies night free drink. I sweared i was almost gone and bonkers at the same time. Indeed, i managed to grab hold of myself and cabbed back home alone. I was walking fucking aimlessly and puking on my way home on the cab. I slept through my night and was in a dire straits. The feeling of heavy hangovers was indeed a disaster,not to mention those pukes.

Today, went for shopping trips with my mom and auntie at takashimaya,didn't really purchased anything except for perfume,lip-gloss and one basic top which cost a total bomb of almost two hundred bucks on my account,what a splendid am i? It was too ridiculous right?

Ok,that's about it,will call it a day. Have a bangin' day homies and earthling.