Rockitqueen

2010-04-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

Seriously speaking,i miss my social lifestyle,what i'm living now is pretty mundane ever since school ended. It seem like i'm drifted apart from everyone including my friends and almost everyone. I pretend to be someone who smile and laugh but the fact is,i'm not happy with myself. Perhaps,i can never satisfy myself,lest talking about satisfying other people's needs.

I am a wasted youth.

Losing grips

2010-03-07T09:41:00.000-08:00

Guilt tripping and countless words untold. This world is shallow,you can never entrust yourself to anyone,not anyone but yourself. Whatever things you do,you trust your feelings and not to anybody else. I realise i am such a motherfucking failure and a wasted youth. I spent all my entire life realising what a motherfuckable person am i. I can look very positive and sound optimistic all the time you people always see. But the fact is,i'm not. I have a very pessimistic ego and i don't look at things on a brighter sides. Maybe due to all the drama-rama going on throughout my growing years.

Also,it seem like i don't set myself a very good example,to everyone and the young kids. Needless to say, i am truely a bad ass.

How many times have i been hurt,like something stab through my heart and take everything away from me? All the betrayals,setbacks i have been through and all those major shits. No one know me better than i know myself more. That's why i never trust anyone,even my closest ones. Call me a cold species and i don't give a huge fag about it.

I love to think i am a person you could spend your laughter and a shoulder to cry on. But in such circumstances, somehow,it's unpredictable.

In a losing grips...

FML

2010-02-08T07:38:00.000-08:00

I just got back from the fucking work place and i fucking fucking hate it. Today doesn't seem to my day i call it pride. Fml..fml..fml indeed.

I was pathetically tired and only had one meal because i can't seem to crave for anything today.

I felt so motherfucking pissed which i do not wish to post it here because i am not someone who like to share my inner deep thoughts. Precisely, this issue got to be murder asap.

Didn't you guys realised chinese new year and valentine day actually crash on the same day,which means they got to celebrate both important festive season plus from their love ones as well while i am gonna be alone this year. Fortunately, i got to spend with my family and love ones.

I feel that i maybe leaving anytime soon, and i am not hoping for anything. Thanks for being there with me all these while and i appreciated it alot with your mentor and guidances. But, i have to move on for a better path carve out for me.

2010-02-04T11:04:00.000-08:00

Men usually take sex as a sports,visualise a woman like a sexpot and take them for granted. They do not value woman chasity and almost regard them as a booty call.

When a dishonourable man treat you as a rebound or want nothing more than you,but just a booty call. You have to learn how to jeopardise this hazard in order to let yourself getting less hurt. A guy would never hurt you if they would treat you properly,with respect and most importantly, a value in their life.

When a guy say they need time to reconsider about their feelings with you. Forget about it, they are just making a plain excuse in avoiding this issue and also, preying for better targets out there, and you are unlikely to be one of them. When they call you out of the blue, without any notice, they just want a sleepovers with you,cuddles,sex with you and nothing more than that. So, please do not assume they are actually interested in you whereby they are just treating you as their passing time moments.

Nothing worth more than knowledge,because knowledge is power. A guy would actually be an honourable man if they actually see you as a human-being,treat you nicely,fancy you and shower you with more care,concern and love instead of treating you as a sex pot.

Basically, we are not kleenex in which we are use once and throw away. This theory is long existence in our logic because guys treated everything like their favourite sports game whereby they do not see the consequences it cause hurt, and more hurt.

2010-02-04T09:47:00.000-08:00

What a motherfucking night?! i'm still here with more rants and i just couldn't stop ranting during my free time. Shouldn't i be obsessing with those notes than blogging but i couldn't,i have too much to say,too much thoughts to share,more worrying issues to handle,etc.

Shouldn't i be quitting partying? I feel as if my era is over,and the younger generation begins. I felt as if my health is deterioting or on rather, i haven't been enjoying the partying as much as it happened in the past. I should have concentrate on doing something more fufilling and lead a healthier state of mind.

I have to start sending my resumes after i graduate but i am contemplating to take degree or continue to work? This is definitely a worst-part being an adult whereby decisions has to be make. There is an old saying," do what you deem right'' I guess i will just go with the flow seriously.

I don't want to make myself full of criticism but somehow,i couldn't stand china bitches. They seem really stuck up and has an abhorrent attitudes which i know most of our sg people couldn't stand.

rants,rants,rants,all i need is more rant

2010-02-04T09:29:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking,thinking and thinking with the confessing mind in me. Life is never as easy as it is done unless you experience it yourself. It is a rollar-coaster rides for me,ups and down. Basically,no one knows how i feel,what am i thinking or supposing to do because i am someone who do not express myself much or truth to be told,i am a person who immense in deep thoughts and hide my emotional well.

I am always wearing a mask and i won't allow myself to bare my heart to others, or else,i feel as if i am so naked.
Also,i am a very vague and straightforward person whereby i do not give a fuck damn for who you are and i apologise for that because i can't change the fact for how i behave,the way i acted,the person i am.

Somehow,i realised not many of you people could accept the way like i accept for who you are. Still, i know i am a very fuck-up-to-the-core person. I tried in many ways to change but still, i couldn't do so.
I'm not trying to broadcast what kind of person i am but hopefully, you all could understand what kind of person i'm really am. I know i may have offended loads of people out there,for the people they care for me the most and i really appreciated it.

Too much rants tonight.

2010-02-04T04:17:00.000-08:00

Last night,although wasn't a blast but we managed to get ourselves a period of soberness. Out partying with my bunches of homies as one of them were holding a celebration at powerhouse and we ordered two bottles of liquors and the rest were ladies night free drink. I sweared i was almost gone and bonkers at the same time. Indeed, i managed to grab hold of myself and cabbed back home alone. I was walking fucking aimlessly and puking on my way home on the cab. I slept through my night and was in a dire straits. The feeling of heavy hangovers was indeed a disaster,not to mention those pukes.

Today, went for shopping trips with my mom and auntie at takashimaya,didn't really purchased anything except for perfume,lip-gloss and one basic top which cost a total bomb of almost two hundred bucks on my account,what a splendid am i? It was too ridiculous right?

Ok,that's about it,will call it a day. Have a bangin' day homies and earthling.

2010-02-02T11:21:00.000-08:00

I'm blogging in the middle of the night,at this unearthly hours because my bodyclock is so screwed,worn out and ripped apart.It can't be fix anytime soon unless i get a proper adjustment. In this insanely 3am,everyone is supposedly be sleeping yet i'm up bright and shine typing this entry. It seem like my life revolving about school,sleeping late,working and cutting some slack.

Today a fufilling day,because i managed to slash out a price of sixty for these three dresses and i am so satisfied. It's so DIRT CHEAP compared to other malls selling and i like it because it's demure and sophisticated compared to my usual rockabilty-chick style. Also, went for a hair-trimmed and managed to ask the hairdresser to shave off my back of my head because it is really unglam and ugly as it has a tail behind. It does look less appealing to me and definitely,messy.

I can't seem to understand what's all sibling fights is all about?Feuding here and there,won't it be exhausted enough to keep on bickering hence and forth. Although,i used to have sibling wars with each other. We also slashed tongue with each other, huge cat fights,throw bottles,whacking with tools and etc. But,i realised something, as we grow older or maybe me,such occurence is definitely lesser than i thought. Maybe, we haven't been speaking much to each other or less seen each other which is good. I know both of us have a very foul anger and it is hard to curb those anger management. Peace-talking is much more sensible than those street-dogs fight right?

Last but not least,i maybe hitting on club later at night with bunches of gfs as one of them is celebrating her birthday later and i may crash in a bit.

Catch this blog if you're bored: Http://butter-zirong.blogspot.com

2010-01-30T08:08:00.000-08:00

The days were quite mundane for me as of these days,my brain seem dead and i'm kinda feeling off-track lately.The routine were like school,work,sleep and definitely more sleep.

Also,i haven't been partying for a month and it was all good because i get the rare opportunity to feel healthy and less cranky of course. I,maybe hitting the club on wednesday,ladies' night at powerhouse with my bffs but not sure if i'm going if my body system does not call in sick.

My friends aroused the attention of going on a road-trips which seem like a likeable idea for me because i never get to travel and explore after all these years. I will decide which of the best destination to travel and plan upon my schedules.

Now,i have to curb on my binge eating because i have been eating non stop and craving for delicacies.
Back to bed,nigh earthlings.

Recent haywire

2010-01-28T00:03:00.000-08:00

One of my friend came crashing into my crib because she met her lowest point of time and i have to keep her accompany,no matter what. When friend's in trouble, it's good to stick together,stays together as one united nations.

But,one of my friend and i don't wish to mention who,used to hang out with us since secondary old school days refused our help when we met into deep trouble. Call yourself a friend,whereby we were there for you while you weren't,less mention about the recent issues we encountered. It was okay,because i have already long ago, disregard you as my close friend long decades ago. I have seen true your real colours and and deepest side of yours before even you take off your masks. I knew you have been pretending for the past few years,for your hypocrite and shameless self-acts. You should know what kind of person am i,because i'm not that kind of person you can be make use of,so is my clear statement i'm stating it here.

I don't give a fucking damn whether you are my close relatives,cousins,friends or even close friends. For once,i found out the betrayal acts you did, this will be the end of my modesty and i show no mercy to you all either.

Anyway, was thought of partying yesterday but i skipped it because i was too motionless to even move my fat ass to club yesterday. But, i have been reminising the past about the party we enjoyed and the drink we drank ever since the last new year eve we ever partied.

The weather has been a whore recently,and abit of haywired of course. It has been either raining cats and dogs or sunshine after rain. Therefore, everyone has been falling ill. I hope everyone take care of themselves because health is wealth and nothing ever matters.

What is a lame post u call it?

2010-01-26T02:44:00.000-08:00

So hang me up to dry,because u have hurt me too,too many times.

So hang me up to dry,because i'm bleed too,too many times.

When i'm into shits,you weren't there for me,i was living in a solitare,the person i yearn to see at this utmost and crucial moments,you were busy mingling with your beers and lame jokes. I was too hurt too many times that i forgotten the last heart-aches was when. I wrote too many saddened poetics and sappy songs to heal my deep-cut wounds. I'm not a perfect shits and not a wonderful person.

Sorry,that was a damn emo post i blog about,it's not a biggie because i was just randomly trying to vent out something emo-ing yet touching. Are you all touch enough? Anyway,this picture was taken a few days ago because both of us were bloody BO-LIAO at work so we took it out of fun. To be true,i was damn fucking shag out totally,because i didn't slept my night off before my work and from the picture,you can tell i am able to K.O in bed anytime soon.

Nowadays,it seem like i'm having a sort of disease called amnesia. I can't seem to remember what have i done,and i can't remember the tasks i did before. Bad memories it serves and it was damn jia lat i tell you.

On the other hand, Chinese new year is around the corner and i haven't purchase anything but it's ok,because the GAMBLING sessions is here once again,with booze and card decks,nothing even matters. Woo hoo! One of my friend whose a lucky bastard,because she gets to travel with her parents to Taiwan at this festive season while i'm so stuck,stuck right here. Omfg??!!

So worry sick

2010-01-22T09:35:00.000-08:00

I can't seem to sleep properly at this unearthly hours and i'm still surfing the net and playing cooking academy,quite an addictive game although it's dorky but the game suit a nerd like me. Have been behaving cranky,like always i said. I don't know what the hell am i doing? Seriously,i don't know what the fuck am i surfing internet at this wee hours whereby there is no particular sites for me to surf on besides my fb,twitter,replying mails,checking out blogshops,stalking people's photos. There is nothing for me to surf on and to be frank,i'm so sick of the cyber world.

One thing,on a bad new is, my granny is terribly sick and she is seeking treatment at chiangmai. I know how my mom felt at the point of time and i feel helplessly because i couldn't do anything,especially on financial aids and i saw her sobbing her tear down in sorrow. But, i couldn't managed to do anything beside giving my best console. Granny, i wish you all well and better health. We will try visiting you as far as all of us are not tie down with our own individual matters.

2010-01-21T23:06:00.000-08:00

Back from school. Initially, thought of heading down to work but bad news is,i'm too lazy to head down. Also,it's paya lebar somemore.
I don't know whether i wanna head down to icon's later because haven't been drinking since last new year eve celebration bash. Somemore, i haven't been catching up with them for a long decades,with more hot gossips.
We used to see each other alot and after, all of us started work and studying,there are lesser time for us to meet up and i considered it a really bad,bad sign.

Sick

2010-01-21T07:45:00.000-08:00

Seem like i maybe falling in sick anytime,very soon as my premonition say so. The running nose couldn't stop running away although i attempt to escape from it and my throat sore like one motherfucking bitch and my body aches badly that i need a tranquility to nerve my sorrows in my body.
Even my beloved music i play all the time, the lyrics i seen and my favourite tv drama i watch frequently haven't been listed my favorite at this moment.

Sick is so pain in the ass as much as you are almost bedridden or crippled by the chair.Insanely,i refused to take in any medication because i do not want to fell deep in slumber at such early night,especially in this unearthly hours i'm so much awake as an owl.

SOMEBODY CALL 911??!!

What's going on

2010-01-21T03:13:00.000-08:00

I almost thought that i couldn't use the internet because my wireless connection is broken. Fortunately, i managed to get it fix and done,if not i will be the crying bitch tonight without my connection on. I feel so fucked up as well,maybe also due to the awful weather it cause and i feel both my body and leg aching,eyelids is heavier than those footsteps. I think must be the oncoming after partying effect.

Anyway, i feel like booking flight to travel especially chinese new year.Everyone may have love the companies of family,relatives and love ones but spare me off because i hate gathering like this.My whole family is weird because we have lesser communication with the rest of our relatives and no common interest and we have boundaries. Also,it's valentine day and i have no one to spend with and it is exceptionally lonely seeing all the couples walking hand-in-hand. Please,i don't wish to land myself in a miserable state in a pathetic face.

What happen throughout all these years?

2010-01-21T00:21:00.000-08:00

Past 2009:

This particular year had been a rollar coaster rides for me,ups and downs and also gone through alot of traumatizing moments. Met a group of circle of friends which turned out to be a nightmare of the worst,almost in love but fell out of love,friends tangled up in numerous troubles,been a party pooper everywhere,lost almost half of my friends,deal with family abhorrence affairs.

Throughout all these shits,i've learnt one thing: Never give up on oneself. As, there are many out there who treasures you and loves you like always. To be frank,i have a wonderful bffs whereby we gone through thick and thin although sometimes we have our own disagreement but we work it out well. When i needed them,they will be my best radio station and listening ear and also a shoulder to cry on,and gossip to bitch about. I want thank you all for the past few years of all the tolerant and all my crying shits which i supposed u all know. I know i never tell anyone about my problems and i admit i do hide my emotions well but it doesn't mean i will ever hurt anyone of you. I can be very sarcastic at all times,but i'm someone you can rely on. Another thing is, i got to know my bunch of lovely friends,lynette and shuting. They are really gorgeous and sophisticated people out there,we party,make love but not war. We always love to do crazy stuffs on the AFTER-SCHOOL hours and i appreciate it and i met alot of dumb fuckers who trying to ruin my bloody life but i'm ain't letting you to destroy me. I'm not an easy person,warn you! Friends encounter bad romances,etc.But,that doesn't mean your life is destroyed and fuck as long as you know you have bunch of beautiful peoples surrounded by you and that's all enough.

For my family and relatives: Thanks for tolerating all my incessants vulgars which i always say it vaguely and i know i shouldn't have done that. Sorry for not calling and tell where i am always because i felt a little procrastinate and out of laziness but you know you all loves me right. I know mom,you care for my health and wish i didn't party as much as i always so u always ask me to watch my health and go for medical check-up and yes,i clearly understood your well intention although i always choose to avoid this issues. Most importantly,i have two wonderful cousins wayne and irwin. I stood there watching them suffering from family loss and i clearly understood how it felt at the moment and i would stand by the both of you even the pillars fall. Although you all think i'm crazy and do nuisance stuff but during the nerve-wrecking period,i know i won't want to see shits happen. I know i don't want to say these but,you know you are always helping me whenever i met into problems although u think is minor but your little advices wake me up from bad dreams,which is you aunt.You're most awesome and havoc!

New year resolution 2010:

1) Stop procrastinating

2)Spend a little quality time with my family

3)Forcast and plan about your upcoming futures

4)Stop being a motherfucker and an aeroplane queen

5)Find loves,not war with mens

6)Cut down on partying,more socialising and the 50 cent niggas

7)Save,save and more saving

8)Driving license because mazda RX 8 i'm so in love with you.

9)Work my asses out and bloody graduate

Thinking

2009-07-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

I think when I'm really stressed, i tend to drink alot,and i know it's bad for health but though it constraint me from doing that. Still, i can't stop myself from doing that.
Now,i feeling super duper over-strain for the gazillion times which i find it so meaningless. I'm trying to behave properly,talk less sarcastic but it makes no sense. You are who you are, i realize one point. You don't change for the others,it is unfair to yourself.
As i age, i think alot and immense myself in deep-thinking.I want to be success as anyone else out there and always constantly remind myself to give myself three to four year and once i graduated, i will hold a stable income job,drive a car and earn my own state of living.
I don't wish to rely and depend men for a living hood,and that is not me. I won't do that,because it is useless as i thought.(There is no free-lunch in this world)
Perhaps,i think highly of myself or go beyond the expectation i want,because till now, i couldn't find the correct path i want, the right decision i make,maybe i have been contradicting with words and actions recently.
Few years down the road, i don't wish to see myself partying and wasting my life away. Right now, guys aren't my top priority.On rather, making money is the most priority right now.

2009-07-06T12:18:00.000-07:00

Monday's blue.....
So many things congested in my mind, i am dying inside.
I'm putting a tough front to everyone everyday,an a mask every moment.

2009-07-06T12:15:00.000-07:00

The real reason why people fall out,make up,fall out,make up again.
Because the world is selfish and cruel.
Is either you get it or mine.Usually,people takes things for granted and desire more.
Unless you have the capabilities in achieving all those, the world adores and accept you.
The lesson learn is well-paid off and credible.

2009-07-06T12:14:00.001-07:00

"I'm often sarcastic,because i live sarcasm as part of my list."

2009-07-06T12:07:00.000-07:00

If you don't call,don't ever call.
If you ever pick up the courage and dial the phone call,i call it brave.
If you met someone ever better than me,i wish you the best.
If you regard me as friend,i won't regard you as enemy.
If you think your reason is ignorant,why bother explaining?
If you ever think you are coward,you are always a timid coward.
Because life's with or without you,makes no difference and no sense.
I won't cry for you nor i will plead on you,that's never my style and exist in my dictionary.
Because i'm wearing the pants,you are not.You're sheepishly wearing a chiffon dress.

2009-07-06T11:53:00.000-07:00

Something must be wrong with the photo upload at blogger.Weekend's a crazily madness, went out partying with a huge crowds at powerhouse station with bff's and saw many familiar faces.My body and toes aches aftermath,and i went home early because i think i age efficiently after the late-night partying.
Been coughing for a numerous days and my throat is fatally sore, i guess i am contaminated with the flu bugs. Also, been sneezing and feeling fatigue as well.Blame it on the weather,i felt like i'm baking in the oven under the humid temperature.Therefore,it is best for a sun-tanning session.

Anyway, i didn't really have the mood for anything,as seems my brain is freezing cold and numb.Bad news is,i have to work now and good news is,i got enough cash to travel in months times.
My mind's is so contaminated and empty and i don't know why.

Goodnight,earthlings

2009-06-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

Hi earthlings, it's pretty recklessly lifeless for me, having awake at 4pm and stooped around house afterwhich and ate the takeout mom bought for me. After that, back to my books. It's a boring routine and i feel stuffed, but it is good to stay at home for awhile rather than the constant late hangout. Bad and unhealthy lifestyle. I guess after my exam, will start to look for a job or maybe send resume after i'm done with the papers. Perhaps, earning an income and stop relying on parents will prove to them that i am no longer dependent, but an independent modern woman.

Anticipating for girlfriend birthday which is the coming tuesday, thinking and planning for a surprise or perhaps a dinner treat. It depends.
Ok, back to books, enjoy!

2009-06-27T11:29:00.000-07:00

Not this time, i think my stomach growling with anger again. How to curb hunger pangs and i just don't want to grab myself a bite because i am lazy, plain lazy whereby i do not want to do anything right now.
Staying up this inauspicious hours watching the Korean tv drama boys over flowers. At first, i wasn't keen at all to watch the drama because i felt lame and dope. I meant the girls fall head over heels over those guys, it's a bit dramatic i thought but anyway,since i have nothing to do,so i attempted to watch and it turned out pretty good and addictive. I'd only managed to watch the behind parts of the show online because the drama ended at this particular episode on Tv earlier, on channel 8.
I need to go and renew my id because of some dumb reason which i don't wish to mention.
Anyway, i will stop ranting.
Have a nice weekends though.

2009-06-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

Today's a fufiling day.Hit the town with mom because i need to stock up my make up necessities. Badly enough, i overspent the budget again. As, i bought the Bobbi brown blackliner which cost me $40 bucks which is much more expensive with the one i bought the last time, M.A.C. Too bad, there isn't a Gss period for cosmestics. My mom bought Dior products without any discounted price, but points credited to my membership card. I saw the David Off and Dior perfume and hesitating to buy either one of them. Actually, Kenzo women's femme perfume smell nice too. Either i will opt for kenzo or David off perfume, we will see how.
Anyway, Gss is a total craze for singapore shoppers, you can see alot of people in orchard because they can purchase their favourite brands in a special prices, especially the 1/2 price.
Afterwhich, we headed to lucky's plaza to grab dinner then home sweet home.

I don't know why am i feeling so restless and lerthagic even i slept for more than 8 hours, something must be wrong with my body system. I've been yawning non-stop, and it is really a pain in the ass. Luckily, today i managed to finish two chapters of my lecture notes before heading out. Now, i have to be back to my books.

2009-06-26T08:50:00.000-07:00

Cheese, i desperately need a new haircut, a new dye.
Just been so sick of this look ever since a few months and i need a good suggestion.
I want something more affordable and stylish.
I want to look achieve the "it girl" look, just like those girls out there.
I want to cut even shorter, but i am afraid i look like one abnormal creep, you get what i mean.

2009-06-26T08:42:00.000-07:00

I won't lose,i fear losing.
Strong determination, and bearable thinking.
I ought to get this right, ought to have its own motivation.
I tell myself i won't fall from this fight, i won't.
Because this is me

Constant fear and worried

2009-06-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, was out with girlfriends for star buck and followed by the aftermath, which is the makansutra.
The food was so unbearable except the grilling chicken wings. Only for that it was an exemption, all of it look so sickly and oily.
I was so fucking pissed with my computer, giving me incessant of problems, either shut down automatically or programmes popping out unnecessarily which frustrates me alot. My brother took my laptop which i have Microsoft office installed into it and now, i can't opened up the dopest file which my friend had sent me through gmail which contained exam tips. Therefore, need to ask my friend to print it out and send me. Double job= Double trouble.

The exciting part was my brother came by crashing on my pad and we had a psp playing game session. Too bad, he knocked out within an hour and fall into deep sleep with his piglet snores, haha.
Anyway, i didn't really slept well since and only slept for 3 hours. Suffering from sleep deprivation is absolutely bad for health and dehydrated your body. My body doesn't seem to be performing systematically which spell awful.
Seriously, am worry for next week exam because so far, i only covered three chapters and there are more to go. Lastly, i'm heading back to my books.

Night earthlings and babies,peace out

2009-06-26T01:34:00.000-07:00

It had sent a shockwaves sweeping across the world and tributes that the "King Of Pop" is dead.
M.J, is the most influential icon and figures in the renowned music industry and pop music history. Unfortunately, he had planned for a last comeback concert tour in London next month he had dubbed " The last curtain."

It had triggered an outpouring of grief and despair as shocked pop music superstars and the devoted fans.
Till then, i was devastated with this shocking piece of news. To this day and moment, i believe that his music is played in every corner of the world and the reason for the support was he is a divine of talent whereby he ruled the music charts and his dazzling audiences with his excellent dance moves like the backward "Moonwalk" in the 1980s.

He is definitely a "legend" which i believe inspires everyone. As he made a stage clan with a piping soprano and dazzling dance moves. He inspire everyone with professionalism, talent and grace. It is definitely a loss to lose a legend like him.

I believe the spirit of excellent music he brought us, and divinity of souls always live with him.
Therefore, with love and bravery. Let's sink into the god blessing and best wishes.

Long live the "King Of Pop"

2009-06-21T13:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, i think those nasty balls out there are a pathetic motherchuckers who don't brace themselves when they trying to break things off with the pussies.
Why, is it so hard to clear the air when things can be done short and sweet.
What you guys were thinking when you have to make a big fuss out of nothing, i just couldn't get it.
Use your little asses and think, if not your brain.
I believe 9/10 are a complete losers who do not dare face the facts to tell the other party when they are just making merry along with friends.
I just don't get it, seriously. If you do not like the girls, you shouldn't be treating them as a substitutes when you could not pass over those hurdles or simply playing the field.
Please, we are not those soccer balls whereby we can be kicked around. This is too hard to bear and too little to sweat.
For goodness sake, for the Jesus Christ's law, don't ever use the sweet-honeyed words when you guys, tend to over-used it when things are not taken seriously. And, don't swear as it is either yes or never.
We are not competing in a psp games, so please don't do this.
Even gays have feelings, why don't you people? Even bimbos have hard feelings with you people.
Love to have a disappearing acts and act as if nothing happened, sorry, it is too late to even feel apologetic because you all seem to ruin the pussies and causing a great nightmare when you people, are busying partying, finding some bimbos, making love and some underhand businesses.

Nightmares, nightmares......
So hard to take the blows.

2009-06-21T13:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, thank you for making me realise what a fool i am.
Making me a real sore loser.
Making me so miserable and sick.
These two years, i learn to deal with such a sick pest like you, i hit the bottom of the rock.
Nobody knows, you were making merry with your sanity.
Somehow, i can forgive u, somewhat, i have the courage to tell please fuck off.
Please, leave me alone.

2009-06-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

Today's a father day, so i went out and grabbed an early dinner with my parents and treated my dad a sumptuous meal, at least i thought so. After which, went to town to meet my bitches and co. Had a great bitching session though and i miss the delicious hot dog i bought at far-east plaza. Snapped a few lame shots as if we were modelling. But indeed, it was fun as it has been a long while since i met up with them.
Receive my sweetheart call and we have a short chat over the phone, i guess long-distant r/s is so hard to maintain.
Till then, i will just treat it as a game then. Because it is so dangerous, so dangerous and no hazard free, as if the fire burning.
Seriously, since young, i treat everything as a game. Whatever you tell me, and no matter how u brainwash me with your little cryptic talk, i find it obnoxious and i do not know why. I tend to be more protective to myself in the crab-shell and i seldom share my thoughts and feelings to people for those who know me. Yes, i do give advices to many people who met into problems in certain circumstances and situations, but when it come to mine, i just screwed it up tentatively.

I admit i am stronger than anything, but i hate to suffer from setback, this is a big blow i won't take and afraid to lose.
Therefore, i guess i haven't been tearing and weeping for many years. Even when my dad said the most nasty words to me, i feel so numb. I like to act tough in front of people, i don't wish to let people see the utmost weakling side in me.

This is bad, so bad,and bad......

2009-06-20T11:55:00.000-07:00

Been so exhausted ever since yesterday, went to work restlessly.
This weekend probably skip partying, chill-out lounges, and all the night activities and just activate myself to have a good sleep over my own pad.
Anyway, i realised i tend to make a remarkable curt blunders over things and i am so sorry about it. Because i just speak the way i like, think the way i want it to be. Therefore, come to the term of it, not many people can accept me for who i am.
Seriously, i can't sleep properly, eat nicely, think wisely. All i wanted to do was to rest my brains and simply do nothing about it. Sadly, i can't, because i have too many things which constraint my mind. It actually call the mind-blowing session.

Now having a mild headache, and heartache. Why do i hurt so much when people are making merry around their enjoyable life. They do not know when the person having an insomnia. It's just been crushing,crushing,crushing.

2009-06-17T10:46:00.000-07:00

"Old picture"

Mom, i thanked you being there for me ups and downs.
Although we always bicker over the trivial matters, and you will tolerate all my impulsive and temperamental attitudes.
You know I'm nothing without your support, when the whole world came crashing down on me, you will my wonder woman or saviour.
I used to let god takes the wheel, but now it seems that you are circulating around my problems, providing me your advices and consoles though you know i am stubborn.
Sorry, i may let you down occasionally and play a wild-child role, but in my heart, you're the best gift from god.
I'd know i can't bring the best out of everything, but i will try to play the best roles of a daughter to you, a best friend, a confidante upon your hearings.

p.s Everyday is a mother's day, with a leap of faith.

2009-06-17T10:40:00.000-07:00

Seemingly, we were foolish.
We were both solely wrong to go ahead the eagerly trap.
I'm immensely walking through this lonely path, why did you just dump me here, alone?
I'd wonder, ponder over and over again.
Never mind, we were just playing mind games, just as it seems.
Just that i call it a gimmick, or we bringing it to the next level, it's game over.
We will have to see...

2009-06-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

We were once young and mighty,
with love and bravery,
and with arms and armours,
until one day, we found out that we were losers and knight less.

2009-06-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

Caught drag me to hell, stupid flick yet a funny one.
Maybe it was due to the sound effects.
Grabbed dinner, smoke a few puff of cancer stick, snooped around the malls before movie, and home sweet home.
Life really sucks when you have no aims, no goals, no desires.
Initially, my independent plans was get a good-stable job, get a car before 23, move out of my crib, earn a stable income, provide my own lodging, provide monthly allowances for parents.
Till then, or rather i have to wait, maybe in the future.

2009-06-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

I hate you, the feelings so dangerous.
Maybe i can't get you over, since the past years you been haunting me.
You made me afraid of passing over those hurdles, you made me bleeding through the blunder knife.
Why didn't you just use a trigger and shot me down.
Maybe i really hate you for those things you have done, although i'm strong-minded.
You're not on purpose, but intentionally.

P.s Bark off, you dog

2009-06-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was awesomely enjoyment. Went to dbl o with dap and meet up with brandon and company for their sailor "POP".
I swear i was fucking dope high and tipsy with the amount of liquor in me and had a terrible hangover since yesterday.
Anyway, on random note, looking forward to Thailand trips, so far yet so close.
Night earthlings, xoxo, s

Tomorrow's another day, assignment handover.

2009-06-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

Fuck la, ccb,knn
Appear that we can blog about vulgarities.
Relief, relief,relief.........

2009-06-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

I'm so gonna care less about the relation between everyone, and you.
The moment i start to care more is spending devotion towards my family and myself, of course.
Human instincts..human instincts...

2009-06-08T12:12:00.000-07:00

Seriously, with an unknowingly reason, i feel the sudden of anger.
I'd just come to a term that i'm fucking upset, fucking strain.
It seem that the world came by crashing on me.

2009-06-08T07:40:00.000-07:00

Today's a boring shit Monday. Monday blues, Monday aching, Monday heartaches, Monday's hunger, Monday's disasters.

Finished our lesson at 1130 and went ahead to parkway parade, accompanied by one of the core four bitches, S to get the contact lenses and then we snooped around the shopping malls for a couple of hours before heading home. I'm thrilled because i finally managed to buy the super-magnificent lip gloss.

On random note, i'm feeling really tired,tired,tired and also restless.

Night earthlings! xoxo, s

2009-06-07T00:52:00.000-07:00

Today's a sunday and it is raining heavily. The thought of lazing around at home suits the weather.
I should stay at home today, rent some dvds and cut some slacks.
It would be nice.

2009-06-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

"It's better to be loved than never to have love at all."

Boring shit

2009-06-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight, i still have trouble sleeping, something must be wrong with me.
So i got my nail painted, binge eating, have sex with my computer.
Finally i get to see my bff after whole weeks of cooping herself at home, so we went to chill at acid bar, our usual hangout with ashley and her boyfriend, tim. But it turned out awkward as i expected. Again, it was sex-citing, because i get to make love with my stout of beers.
Anyway, it was a boring shit to hang out in singapore, need a short getaway soon once i save up the money.
Still, on random note, lacking of chemistry sabotage a relationship or when u're seeing someone.
Night earthlings!

xo, s

2009-05-31T09:22:00.000-07:00

The betrayal from the closest kins are integrating tormenting one.
I hate this, i hate that.
I could collaspe anytime sooner....

officially sick and tired

2009-05-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

I admit,i care about how people think of me.
Somehow, i feel that everyone has a judgement day.
Why, out of suddenly, i feel that everyone outshine me in someway, in an unique way.
All of sudden, all the pressure are hanging by the moment, leaving me acting solemnly.
I feel that i'm not stronger anymore, im falling, falling into a deeper depth, leaving me alone.
I thought we have the stimulate chemistry, but why do you, everyone leave a sudden goodbye note.
Am i not good enough? i probe this question all over and over again.
Why everyone have to do all these to me, what exactly have i done wrong? this is so injustice..
Apparently, now i'm officially sick of how people look at me, think of me, gossip about me.
Because if you think you can't capture well the limelight, i steal it and so be it.

keane-somewhere only we know

2009-05-31T09:06:00.000-07:00

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?I'm getting old and I need something to rely onSo tell me when, you're gonna let me inI'm getting tired and I need somewhere to beginAnd if you have a minute why don't we goTalk about it somewhere only we know?This could be the end of everythingSo why don't we go, somewhere only we knowSomewhere only we know?

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?I'm getting old and I need something to rely onSo, tell me when you gonna let me inI'm getting tired and I need somewhere to beginAnd if you have a minute why don't we goTalk about it somewhere only we know?This could be the end of everything.So why don't we go, so why don't we go?Hmmm yeahh.This could be the end of everythingSo why don't we go, somewhere only we know,Somewhere only we knowSomewhere only we know?

2009-05-31T09:02:00.000-07:00

Earlier in the evening, i went for a jog, and i realised i have to reform back my old stamina. I just have the sudden urge to jog, to forget the most excruciating trouble and the incessant problems i have received.
I felt so energetic after a run, and it seem that it is a release, release, release, for a short moment.

2009-05-31T07:12:00.000-07:00

Looking back at the old good times we spent, no matter during at work, play and everything, they are the one for you. Feeling all your misery, sorrows, desperation, craves and desires.

Sex-citing, sexcition, it's the sex to have friends like them, during your younger days.

Those are the periods we were young and naive, stubborn, being quarrelsome with each others, conflicts, countless of madness, jealousy, getting drunk together, stay over at each other 's cribs, getting naked and staring at each other, smoke harsh and create havoc.

This reminds me a flashback of myself, behaving childishly, a wild-child who used to break rules, fights, a heart broken by people and i broke people heart.

When is the first time you saw the real me? I think opposite does attracts, it's the crave for some sex-citing and wild intentions.

2009-05-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

Why do we care about how people think, it is like a fashion faux-pax, thin models walking on the steps, dress the way they are.
People look and think the way you behave, like how you're published in page-six.
If you're famous, you succeed
If you don't, try dugging a hole and hide yourself.
That's pretty much we call it famous or infamous.

2009-05-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

"So we should take our clothes off, stare at each other, get some affection."

2009-05-29T09:44:00.000-07:00

Revenge, revenge, revenge
I'm on the verge of major plans as it fall in, one last game to see who is the winner of it all?
One last game to prove that i am better than anyone else, who say queen can't conquer it all, i do.
Now that the battle is on, until it is over, you will have a clean slate.
That's the thing, you have to be cool to be a queen. Forget boys, keep your eye on the prize, people. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, it's all worthy.
Bearable or unbearable? You can tell jesus the bitch is back.

2009-05-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

Exhausted, worn-out and tear apart.
Alcohol seem to my best company, tv console seem to be my best shoulder to cry on.
I'm so tired, heading to bed.
Tomorrow's another day, remember?

2009-05-27T23:40:00.000-07:00

The circumstances are most extenuating. Can we forgive it this one time?

2009-05-27T10:11:00.000-07:00

I had a slightly minor pimple breakout, and i realised it's a pain in the ass whenever all my friends grumbled over it. Thus, i tried finding for a concealer before heading for school, but i couldn't managed to find.
My heart is sinking deep, deeper and i don't know why. I can be a player but i don't wish myself to be played, you see the whole objectives and points. Do you get it? Realisation in a discrimination, we are so much better off as friends, than lover.

I love everyone, and i can't bring myself to hate anyone, for those who once betrayed me or in their spiral acts, i still forgive and forget. Always befriend with an enemy and everyone is built up with walls and you have to be distinctive about it, also, read them as a book.

Anyway, maybe partying this week and i am enjoying every nightlife ever. Never mess around with me, you will never get to.

I'm so a party-goer and do you?

night sweethearts, xoxo

2009-05-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

I treated all this as a game, and i don't expect myself to sink deep, deeper. Sorry, i don't wish to hurt your fragile and brittle heart, but i can't bear to. You are so gentle and sweet, i guess i have no right to exile you from loving other people. Maybe u think i may stole your heart, you stole mine. I guess you never really understand how i feel. I have been there, done that and i don't care how my physical and mental attractions are on you. So what it was, so what with ez?

2009-05-22T13:16:00.000-07:00

I'm more like day-dreaming than talking. Yesterday had a crash-over at c's crib. It was fantastic because we were having a heart-to-heart talk and card game although it was boring. Afterwhich, we headed down to bugis to have steamboat with another bitch, which i must say it was good. I don't know my stomach has been fluttering, like butterflies, perhaps. It was humilating to say, i admit. Must say, i do have problem with guys and i don't know why. Consider myself a devil, i love games.

Anyway, i have to hoax myself to sleep because i have work tomorrow, night earthlings!

2009-05-21T00:29:00.000-07:00

This past years, i see myself growing up, falling down. This is the moment i call it to be. I had experienced alot of happiness, trauma and sadness throughout my whole entire journey. Sometimes, it hurt me a little but i still manage to get through all these mess up shits.
I'd graduated from high school, going to a new environment, meeting new friends, enjoying every moment i have. I don't call it the last moment but the best experience i have. Frankly speaking, i do struggle and entangle myself in this complex environment, but i call this part of my learning journey. Also, thank to my family and aunt who were there for me when i needed them most. In fact, i would personally thank my aunt (doesn't admit she is old). She taught me how to do business and share alot of her life experience in order not to follow her old footsteps. I also learn how to make decision to deal with certain circumstances in such situation. ( I'm like memorising scripts for grammy awards)

so glad

2009-05-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

For the last moment, i had enough. I am so done with everything here. Therefore, i am going to care less about the misery, torments, guilt, sadness and unhappiness. Perhaps, in my last straw, i have done enough in lending people a hand whenever they have problem or issues. Not wishing people would be appreciative but the least you could do is a " thank" is more than enough. Whenever i have problem, i don't think people would eventually lend a hand or a listen ear. Ultimately, it seem that all my worries and problems are bury inside head. Apparently, i appear to be not much of any problems because partly you all, may think that i am a strong-willed person. Yes, i am with firm thinking but somehow, you people may not understand even the strong and tough person will fall when meet into a setback. Imaginely, no one is there for you and you have to resolve it all by yourself. I tried it because im experimenting all these in the past, no one is really there for you when you desperately need a lending hand. They either escape or avoid you. So i learn to be strong and wiser, and deal with different kind of circumstances. I won't allow anyone to have a chance to see me for, see my weakling side. Thank to you i must say, this past two years i learn how to be headstrong in every decision i make. Although i do not hate you anymore, but there is still a little hatred inside me for the way we treated each other. I've seen through people in my entire life, that is why i never believe anyone, not even my closest friends, i chose to believe in myself, believe in what i see and hear. Call me stubborn for whatever you want to describe, i am willing to bear all those criticism. Seriously, i don't give a fuck about how people think of me, my personality or anything because i behave just the way i am. You do not have any right to teach me any moral lesson. Ever once a friend told me " stand strong, you never fall." Until now, this quote becoming part of my essential life and i am reminding myself everyday, even today. This motivates me not to fall and successfully, i am what i am today. I am glad.

2009-05-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

I believe in you,everyone does, except you. I trusted you for handling your personal issues, but you seem to me that you can't resolved it and instead, you are dragging your feets upon this matter. Why beat about the bush when you already decided what you want, i have no idea. One thing i know is i know you more that i know the actual facts.
You're leading to more even worst scenarios do you know that, in the first place. More or less to say, you are a coward who can't handled matter in a mature way.
I feel bad for you, for everyone, for the person you have hurt the most deeply. For once, i thought you were nice, until then....

2009-05-08T13:17:00.000-07:00

Hi, pardon me for the little posts. Had a small celebration for D, and it turned out awesomely good. Maybe we had an overdose of drinks, so we are kind of high. The least i could do is to stay sober to take care the bunches of dead drunker. I'd presume everyone was absolutely "HIGH".
Will post up the photos soon i promise. Maybe i am just sick of night lifestyle, very much hate the crowds and the music or truth to be told, i am half affected by the recent issues. Pathetically speaking, i saw him and we exchanged a few words and gestures. Do you know i am so upset about it still, until now. Throughout these period, i am trying my best to hide my angers because i do not want to create a scene.
I won't let you see me for or either you, to destroy my night because it does not worth a splatter of dirt with such jerk like you.
Done, goodnight everyone!

Two culprits in disguise, can we find a good-hearted souls?
Very much to say, it's hard to complements one person.
Damn hard that you may collapsed anytime, anywhere.

2009-05-08T03:18:00.000-07:00

Am proud of her rockability chic style, you own it mischa

Random shots with a colleague, too "BL"

The headband "girl"

Random shots because "BL". I wonder celebrities can bring out styles well, why couldn't we?

They achieved great styles with awesome hairstyles, great scent of aura beauty, lanky figures. They pull off so well and play hard with fashion. My fashion-inspired "IT girl" is agyness deyn. My short-length hair was also inspired by her. It bring out the edgy and also feminine look i call it be.

Enough about it, i guess i will never be like them with my petite sizes, short and burgy, fat thighs. I just wish i would have liposuction for goodness sakes so that i could get shorty shorts, showing off my lanky and slimmer thighs, also dump the jeans and lastly, mini skirts with heels. Fat hope!
I would wanna shed some pounds to size 1, grow taller, a regimes of good skins.

I will call it a day, because tomorrow i have to wake up for work and it is the holiday! *Yawns*

"When people stop questioning about your past, it doesn't mean they do not care for you, because they bring you freedom away from sorrows."

I've survived

2009-05-07T11:19:00.000-07:00

I've survived today, from the recent ruins and issues from the people. Geez, what's on earth with people? I really don't understand. The one stay kin to you, sheepishly being so sheep and cunning about those trivial matters. Do you have problems with that? Sorry, i would not let anyone destroy me, neither do you. Or rather, i have to trust my own judgement rather than letting things go chaos. Bear that in mind. not many people could bring me down, neither do you.
Or rather i have to wait, maybe in the future, i see the truth. I am not the one having issues, you do.
Anyway, tomorrow is my bffs birthday. Will be holding a party for her, will be a great one i guess. There is a guest which i least expected. Apparently, i just wish you are out of my life, gone for good.
TASTE FOR THE BITTER! LIKE I CARE, BECAUSE YOU ARE SO GROUNDED!

what is wrong with everything?

2009-04-28T00:58:00.000-07:00

Somehow i know i was wrong, but i don't admit it liberally. Somewhat i know i am stubborn and headstrong whereby i don't admit defeat. Then you know, when you try to protect someone beloved or the closest one, you get nothing in return. It's not because i want something in return, it simply the way of protesting the right you achieved for someone. Ultimately, you have been used unknowingly over and over again which is devastating. Sonehow, i'm playing a role of a good guy and it's tiring. A baddie would never feel exhausted using all underhand means to get what they want. Therefore, a bad guy would get what they usually want.
Fuckkkk, i feel as if everything gone wrong and it is not because i wanted to sound i am pessimistic about things around me, it is due to the fact that i trust people too much. I know them rather than i know myself well. What is wrong with the earth? What is wrong with the people globally?

2009-04-24T09:44:00.000-07:00

Someday, somehow i find myself not in my usual ways.
I have alot of traumatic dramas through ups and down which i realised i don't love myself as much as i used to be.
I tend to protect myself in one of those ironic situations. i've been through betrayals and fights when people just couldn't get the point that i'm the one who is suffering all those bruises and pain. In my innermost thought, i wish someone would pulled me back to where i belong, to the less grumble one.
I thought i was the chirpy and spontaneous, until today someone told me i was boring. Till then, i realised something has gone wrong in me. In this situation, i can only salvage it, not anyone else.
I becoming more realistic about the world, everything and including myself. I realised that after what i've done, i've been jilted and fooled.

why do you exists when i see you don't

2009-04-24T09:31:00.001-07:00

What's your point and what's your worst? In regard of everything, u're just a selfless person with inhuman feelings. Why're you borne and breed in such an attitude whereby I'm so disgusted about it. You blatantly called me and used me to clean up your dirty deets. Call yourself a man or some superficial hero. Ultimately, i doubt so. You're just one of the well-off,with no moral values. You think you could used money to buy everything, including sex. Hero, you are so wrong and i despise you. Seriously, i hate you more than i hate myself, for now.
I am not attempting to teach you anything, at least have self-respect and morality on your own.
Strangers do have magnet of attraction, and also repulsion of hatred and gutless feelings. You do not know how i feel for you. I'd harboured an angst of anger and filled with painstaking sorrows.
One day, you will realised the importance of human-values, just so you know.

when you have one thing in your mind, what would it be

2009-04-12T02:50:00.000-07:00

Throughout these whole period of holidays, been partying hard and wild, staying up late researching and resourcing the therapy of sleep resolutions.

I'd have trouble with sleeping and had insomnia, i just can't get to sleep until 5AM. There, i need to find ways to revitalize and rejuvenate my energy before getting to my usual form.

So, yesterday i went to watch sniper with daphne and co. It was a boring movie thou and i gave a rating at 2.5/5.

Then, we went to arab street to chill and relaxing, drink hoegarden which is charmane favourite.

Good-bye!

soooo happy my tears fly

2008-12-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

I'm so intrigued over the fact that my grandparent flown from thailand to singapore to visit our whole family. But, only for short two weeks but better than nothing.
Finally, both assignments are cleared and no late night sleep rushing for the assignments, staring at the cold blank wall and the screen searching for information rather on gossiping with people on the cyber net, blog shops and celebrities fashion
I feel like i'm a hungry ghost having a hunger-pangs, i need to source for leftover foods because stomach has been grumbling non-stop ever since work end but really, there's no food left on the fridge, neither any to curb my appetite.

Night earthlings, xoxo

Everytime

2008-11-29T11:23:00.000-08:00

Everytime i can't you out of my mind, you're like a thirst of blood.
Everytime i am bothered about something which gets on my nerve, you're like a drug to me.
Everytime i feel so lonely and helplessly strain, you will be there for me.
Everytime i want you out of my life forever, you'll be purring over and over again on my ears.
You're like a friends in need and a foe in trouble.
For once, i want you exile all the way out of my mess up life, but i couldn't.
Because you're becoming part of my daily live and everything means to me than a million cute guys out there.

pray you hard

2008-11-28T09:49:00.000-08:00

It was a horrible day for me! I reached school not as punctual as usual this morning because i couldn't find my handphone and wallet. Then, i wasn't able to mark my attendance because the horrendous lecturer T didn't allowed me to sign on the attendance file and declared that i didn't turn up for his lesson. Fine, he screwed me up in front of everyone else claiming on that i kept on talking away throughout his lesson. He's such a scrooge and i am going to file a complaint against him. I don't care if he going to lose his rice-bowl or out of the school for good, but i am going to get into the bottom in it. Afterwhich, we skipped business law module and trained ourselves down to paya lebar, tai sing ave which has a charles and keith warehouse whereby they held 70% of all item which is soooo dirt cheap. But, i didn't managed to get anything from there either there's no sizes and the design are not appealing to my eyes.
On random, i am so fucking depressed and upset about the messy state the political problems bangkok had created. Now millions of foreigners are stuck there and all flights are cancelled. My auntie and godma were stucked there and they couldn't board the flight back to singapore. They are all stuck there. I'd really pray for their safety because i can't seem to sleep or eat well upon knowing the bad news it broadcast almost daily.
Take care earthlings-xoxo

so you know why i am wandering here

2008-11-24T09:34:00.000-08:00

Didn't attend class today, because i overslept and stomach seem unwell due to overeating the wrong food. I don't well, seem so tired everyday even when i'm working today. I've been yawning and dozing non-stop ever since the start of the day. Assignment is a total killer because i can't resource for any good information and details regarding the projects and the deadline is nearing.
I really detest china people, especially the china hostess and also staying in singapore. There's one of my colleague whom really pissed me off totally. She put on airs like nobody business, seriously. You are working in singapore environment and you don't have to show me your capabilities, everyone have eyes to see.
Today, i didn't ate much also because thought of heading down to geyland street there's one renown stall selling tau heuy, making me craving for it. Earlier, i just had the sudden urge and i don't know why.
Basically, i have nothing to do so watched re-run of gossip girls and the simple life. Perhaps, cook a noodles for my empty stomach. School tomorrow and i have to wake up punctually, but i don't seem give a fuck about it really.
I'm sooooo laid-back. xoxo

when times like this

2008-11-21T11:26:00.000-08:00

I'm aching and cramping all over, sounded like i'm suffering from old grandma illness. I can't stand the coldness in my air-conditioned room. It's an unbearable pain and suffering which i wish to rid of immediately. Oh well, the daily routine is getting bored and i have school on saturday, also business law module. Saturday suppose to be a weekend and an act of liberty and freedom from school, yet we have to attend classes and also seeing the fucking lecturer. His classes makes me build castle in the air, whining and grinning, staring at the notes blankly, dreaming of the hot dudes on the beach, pining and having the thought of creating havoc, using the chance to burn houses down, bringing alcohol beverages to class instead of listening to his boring laws.
I will take it he's singing lullaby whom put me to sleep, and i will sing bah-bah black sheeps and counting sheeps to keep me asleep.
There's no left over dish and i'm feeling fucken famished at this late night auspicious hour and so lazy to walk to the nearest 7-11 store to grab a bite. I can even eat a whole garbage of leftover foods now, even though it's stale or stink, like i care much about growing worms on my stomach.
Moreover, i am feeling so sick and today is like a shit. Tuning in to some old school music seem to disgest my wander mind, so reminise those old preppy music which turn me on effectively. Still, i feel so restless because i don't have a peaceful of mind and body aching like fuck. Maybe my monthly auntie paying a visit to me soon. Pleasssseeeee, not so soon because i hate you for nagging for seven days because i can't endure any of your noise. I need silent and you're like siren that seem to be alarming me every month of the week. I just can't endure, totally.
On the other hand, economy is having a high fluctuation, money is draining dry, higher possibility of retrenchment. So it's a bad times everyone. It's mean i can't slurge money like water-tap, save some penny for myself, maybe buy cheapskate clothes, eat cup-noodles everyday. Learn how to suffer during the oldies 60s'. How cool it can be?
Anticipating for xmas, exchanging gifts and spraying each other like snowflakes ball. Anxious yet hatred because exam is the day after celebration and really dampen my spirit and mood.
Now i am tired, heading to bed now.

Take care people out there, xo

Tomorrow is another day

2008-11-20T08:15:00.000-08:00

I am so exhausted, so tired that i dozed off on my way home, barely opened my droopy eyes during my alight of the next stop. I could hardly eat, or drink properly. Although i look lethargic, but i have no reason to fell asleep in my cozy sack. A stash of alcohols and cigs won't help much in keeping me to stay awake. The freaking assignments is definately a holy crap, i swear fuck! It has to be done by 3rd december which mark mission impossible because there is so many effing research work to be done for your information. I am so stressed and could hardly breathe in this misty cool air.
School's a total shits and bitch you could hardly recognise any good policies and rules in them.
So today i went shopping with bff D, and she kinda lost her bebe card holder wallet which seem valuable to her. Fuck those taxi-cabbers, please return her belonging and i swear you will be curse by me for gazillion times or crash by other vehicles. Now, i know i have been swearing too much lately, and nothing comes true but don't care. I swear for a good reason. I need a good sleep now, my body is wearing me out and tearing me apart.
Always love you, xo-S

2008-11-18T09:39:00.000-08:00

Now i had a quality time spent with mom this afternoon, a fufilling one and also stocking up my make-up kits as it is an essential needs for girls and also ankle boots which i am unsure i will be wearing it ; it's cost a hell bomb i swear fuck! Then, i went for a movie this evening, with my long-lost friend, so so miss him and we bitch alot of course.On random note, sorry bff little j, i know you're out of love lately and don't lose hope in life you have us for comfort, a shoulder to cry on. You are way better than all the million cute guys out there, don't cry over a spilt milk or a bitch because he ain't worth it and he's a hoe for sure. Don't you guys hurt us because i am gonna hurt your back thousand times more than others, i swear! Always love you- S

wars not ended, never have never will

2008-11-15T08:31:00.000-08:00

I am utterly pissed with the two hoes in my household. They are fucking driving me crazy. Don't you know what it mean by cutting ties since you spilled all my secrets and you have the effing guts to take my belongings, especially mp3. You have the mothafucking shit to delete over 400 songs from my mp3 folders, and do you know i am so angered by the fact you this fucking bitch, who stayed over my house over half a year and you do not have some sense of respect. I do not care who the mothafucking shit who took my belonging, at least have some responsibility to put it back to the exact corner of my belonging. Go get yourself fed you bitch, if you have the penny please kindly move out and also to you, because is you who disown me as your sister, so do you i give a shit about recogonising you as brother. Go think twice dude, i don't even give an effing fuck whether we gonna start the cold blood war, but it's not going to end soon, or later. Go earn you money and stop crying like a bitch for some penny, because you are so lowly penniless that i do not even care.
I am not worried whether you gonna read my blog or what, but rather, i am elated you're actually reading it and realising what the fucking screwing things you've done.

i'm am not going to worry whether i am going to be left on shell in the future, because i can discard you like a stick of cig as easy as it comes.

the hell of life

2008-11-13T08:59:00.000-08:00

I didn't turn up for school today, partly due to oversleeping and the lecturer a total bitch. I simply can't stand his obnoxious jokes which he think is hilarious for a good laugh, whatever!
So i woke up around 2.30pm and did my normal routine as usual. I had a pool of shit and pees once i got up, i feel proud!
Supposingly to go to city plaza to get get some stuffs from my boss aunt but i was too lazy to train myself down to paya lebar. Whatever, i find myself more and more lazy to do things. I wanted to find myself a good and wearable ankle boots but couldn't find any because i don't mind spending extra penny on a boots. Recently, i have alot of id checks from officers and now i start doubting about my age and look. Do i look younger than my actual age? This is so frustrating, but don't care.
Anyway, i will reporting to school tomorrow and for sure, i'd definately will be late than the usual early-comers because i don't give an effing shits.
It's because i can't wake up and okay, i will dress up preppily and sloppily but slippers are banned, so how?

Night earthlings.

shit do happen

2008-11-11T13:58:00.000-08:00

I think i have weekday blues and don't know why. Something seem bothering me and i feel bottled up with unknown feelings. Anyone tell me the reason? I don't feel so good about myself and the others around me. I must be darn sick and i realised that.
Now i realised I'm a huge psycho because i love to pick up weird creatures like cockroaches and maybe i should eat them, i feel alive.
WHAT THE SSHIT!!!???

Pissers to me

2008-11-11T11:46:00.000-08:00

I am typing this in an unearthly hour despite the fact that many are sleeping like a log now. Now, i resent the fact that our school changed their rules and regulation. They even raided me for my sloppy slippers which i see no wrong in wearing that. Even the lecturers are getting stricters and usually, i'm a late-comer and therefore, i can't accept the fact of coming to school punctually and won't be having any self-proclaimed holidays. Why? what's with their policies and why they have to change that? I'm getting out of hand here and for sure, i am getting so fed up with the whole procedures.
For unknown reason, i felt so deprived over the lecturers for the new modules. They are the effing-pissers to me, like seriously.
Don't care, now i felt like a plank of wood staring on the laptop screen and four walls behind, my brain went dead.

slut, fuck off

2008-11-10T08:27:00.000-08:00

I don't care whether i am being judged or being judgemental of myself, i convinced myself i done nothing wrong. Have you ever got the cheek to deny the fact what your daughter had done being your back when you can have blanket covered. Do you know the actual facts that how many guys your daughter fuck with, smoke weeds, clubs and do haughty things whereby you left with no clues. I don't give an effing fuck whether you are my aunt or what. Call yourself a catholic whereby you have no sense of belonging and love to judge people by its book cover and claim yourself a charity saver. Please for godsake, you are none of the above i am proud of. You should handle your own children before you start critisizing me and my whole family. Not because i am proud of myself, but i can say i have self conscience on my own acts.
Your daughter or son didn't even get a degree of honour in prestigious universities and you dare have the slut cheek all the craps. I rock the world, not you rock mine. Fuck off, you cheesy slut because you have the humongous size and i'm totally disgusted by your behaviour.

You know you love me,xoxo

2008-11-07T21:24:00.000-08:00

Now i don't know the feel the joyness or sadness, but my bffs which is also my bestest friend on earth had a little confession to me, you know what it meant. I felt a little uneasy and close to no affection. I'm still in a shocking state in fact because for my case, i do not know how to deal with this matter. Of course, i do not want to lose him for what i have mentioned earlier. He's my drinking partner, the one i share joy and sorrows, the one i have supper with, etc. This is getting extremely weird and you will see...xoxo

Mentally strained

2008-11-07T05:18:00.000-08:00

I need some smokestack, a little desperation for that.
But, one stick is enough for me.
Been feeling rather stress over some personal issues which i don't wish to spell out.
I'm a troubled teen, and i don't seem happier than anyone else out there.
Xoxo

Officially the boredom runs in me

2008-11-07T04:52:00.000-08:00

Anyway, i felt extremely lonely with no excruxiating pleasures found in me. Been rotting at home for the past two days and it was super depressing as it seems. I almost felt like i have no one to turn to, no one to speak to, no one to sure my gossips and whatever shit.I feel alive when school kicks in and with busy work schedules, it just keep me occupied. Now actually, i am typing this in the toilet doing some friendly-business. I know it may sound gross but i don't give an effing shit out of it.I desperately need a retail-therapy and luckily, i've gone to get my hair fixed and trimmed but my brows need a trim badly, maybe tomorrow i will do it. It's disgusting when your brows are badly unshaped, i know the feelings okay?Gotta run, take care!

A space we call it own

2008-11-07T04:36:00.000-08:00

Hi earthlings and homies, acquaintances, and the anonymous followers, would you follow this space i called it own. When you found solitary and shared your tribulations and your darkest and juiciest secret you meant or ought to share. I'm the queen of the bitch, i can be someone you turned to, your ears to lend for.
We own a shelter of our own, a lifting hand to climb on our own.
Welcome to the world of bloggers!

2008-10-31T02:54:00.000-07:00

Not exactly i call grumble, but no unknown reason, i felt the excitement in me. I feel the sane in me, the reason i stay up late to watch the dopest movie shown on tv. Lynette, my coursemate and also one of the queenbitch introduced me a chat called stickam. But for sake, they are either showing me theirs tits and penises. Sorry i have seen enough of yours and i am disgusted with it.
I was offload from work because there wasn't any customers ,probably due to the economic declining, high inflation, price fluctuations, bank retrenchment also becoming one of the major economic factors. Now, we have to stop spending but save. But i'm ain't gonna be the save-goer because i'm not one of them. Heading to bed now, have fun!

So screwed tonight, just so you know

2008-10-28T00:13:00.000-07:00

Been so fucking screwed tonight, i sweared i am fucking furious with the reaction she gave and i don't want to mention who. If you think i'm evasdropping and afraid of overheard your conversation, please kindly inform me so i make an excuse out of your secretive conversation. This is disgusting. You never know this is a sensitive issue and yet, u dare do it in front of me, you slut.

2008-10-10T05:05:00.000-07:00

I will never forgive a person whose dear to me, livin' under one roof, the one who share toys and candies,going through thick and thin with the shits we tolerate. There's always a price to pay. One punch from you can eventually unravel your true self.For holy sake, you have no legally right to correct the mistake i made because you're a loser, don't you know that? Get a life bro, i have enough of your ignorant act. So what i smoke, drink and a party animal myself? At least i don't do crime you motherfucking slut.I will never ever recognise or forgive the mistake you made, you will live with guilt forever. Think of your hopeless future, you gain nothing u cunt.Whatever, now i'm in a stressful state and i don't what the motherfucking shit am i creating all those mess. I have a mess up life and future because i ruin myself emotionally.

You know you love me,xoxo

2008-05-24T04:48:00.000-07:00

I'm in this desperado act, despite having lost of my mobile phone. It's the third times, i recalled. I'm such a blurcock to be specified. Without the high-technological advances, i felt impaired. Everything seem nonchalant now, because of the greedy thoughts i used to harbour on. I feel fat all the time, i need to curb the food temptations, especially good foods. Maybe when i have the enough money, i will visit mary chia for slimming session. Haha